I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You're like the curious george of whores
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
