i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
