Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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