Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize