That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
