Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We are two peas in an std pod
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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