Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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