I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
