Did you just see the Batmobile???
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
