I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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