His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
