Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
