her vagine was all disorganized.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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