My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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