Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
