after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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