that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
