I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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