Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's blow job season.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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