Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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