I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
