I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
