i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
