the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
