BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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