But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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