do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
