Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
