Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
