you traded sex for a burrito?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize