Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
