And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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