at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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