dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
