you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
