Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
