She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
