Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
