Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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