I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
