he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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