if i can run in heels then i can drive
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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