he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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