Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
handjob tips. give me some.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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