We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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