Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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