stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just google imaged poop.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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