this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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