they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
