There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
