i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Say something about gay babies.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
