She said her name was "party"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
