One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
