doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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