i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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