Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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