remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
