This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
