just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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